Quesadilla Explosion Salad… Conclusion, Salad Bad
Honestly, this is probably the only salad that I’m willing to pay money for. I’ve always seen salad as a kind of a Scotty Pippen on the dinner table: really not remarkable on its own, but sometimes it does a good job at making a star shine. But I listened to some healthier people’s advice and decided to eat a salad purely out of health reasons. I think all salads on restaurant menus are lame, but Chili’s Quesadilla Explosion Salad [shown above] is worthy to be called a meal. And with my fairly unhealthy eating habits, I usually make sure to eat a salad like this one once a year to avoid the inevitable heart attack.
But GASP~!! I read an article recently detailing how unhealthy this “salad” is for people. Website ‘Eat This Not That’ has singled out this salad as the third unhealthiest salad in the country, and I looked up its nutritional info and it’s got high marks in just about every category. What the hell salad? I was eating you to improve my health, and I find out that you’re more unhealthy than a cheeseburger and fries? I’ve been hurt more than words can describe. What follows below are the actual nutritional information for Chili’s Quesadilla Explosion Salad.
[“Argh, my heart. I shouldn’t have eaten that salad.”]
What the hell salad? I thought you were supposed to be good for health and everything. I am so sick and tired of your lies. I’m never going back to you ever again. I had to put up with your high amounts of indigestible fiber and bland taste in the sake of good health, but no more. You are a wolf in sheep’s clothing, which is apparently the worst kind of wolf out there. I gave you a chance by eating your delicious Quesadilla Explosion Salad variety, but I’m forever scarred by your deceit.
[My new food plan. Note the absence of salad and addition of Bat, Platypus, and Monkey.]
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Addendum::
The inclusion of the word ‘explosion’ probably indicates that consuming said food contains its fair share of health hazards. The following chart is an independently funded and researched study by me which chronicles the correlation between explosiveness of food and explosiveness of coronary heart valves.
[Scientific proof that I’ll never eat a salad again.]
